THE CONSPIRACY THEORISTS CONSPIRACY

I guess it doesn't matter what the event, proposal or political ideal there will be conspiracy theorists coming out of the woodwork to spread misinformation, ignorance and mischief.

Normally it wouldn't really matter but in a pandemic where people are scared, vulnerable and generally below par these bastards can wreak havoc. They can negate good works and efforts of people trying to  band together (while respecting social distancing) to fight the disease.

The theories are numerous and as wildly different as they are inaccurate and range from:

• Covid-19 doesn't exist at all
• Covid-19 is government(s) plot to suppress individual freedoms
• Covid-19 is caused by 5G technology
• Covid-19 was hatched in a Chinese secret laboratory
• Reports of mass deaths are untrue
• Covid-19 is just like the flu only less dangerous
• Contracting Covid-19 will immunise us all
• Images of dead bodies around the world are of props
• An anti-malarial miracle drug will cure Covid-19 sufferers
• Covid-19 was engineered by USA so as to wage economic war on China
• Covid-19 was engineered by China so as to wage economic war on USA
• Covid-19 was engineered by Russia so as to wage economic war on China and USA

etc, etc.

God (Robert's god) protect us all from conspiracy theorists.

ROBERT'S FULL OF ......

...... GRACE.

Robert in his latest post in his ephemeral blog NOTHING TO DO WITH RELIGION - YEAH RIGHT! talked about his part in The Fall - that myth created by the Christian churches to keep the peasants in their place. See: HERE

Robert tries to get on a par with that old sinner Adam by claiming that he sinned too and probably wonders why he himself doesn't feature in the bible and its many rewrites. He shouldn't really worry as most of the books of the New Testament are written so long after the events that were supposed to have happened that there might be a new gospel in pre-production right now, so there is time.

In Robert's soliloquy about his fall he gets into a bit of a muddle and is confused about whether his fallen state exists or not - "I can not see my fallen state" and he laments not knowing the difference between right and wrong. Somehow from this he claims that the indecision, blindness and moral ambiguity gives him free will. Whatever.

Robert concludes with a wish to be a woman as he believes that this will fill him with grace which is preferable to whatever he's full of at present.

"The alternative is to live in a state of grace.
Mary was born full of grace as opposed to us who have to acquire it.
If I was full of grace I would be blissful."

Oh well. In this GLBTG world we live in anything goes.

My view is that he's be better off putting on an aluminium hat.

IT STARTS HERE

THE CURMUDGEON was wise enough to recognise the necessity of protecting ourselves from unwanted radio waves, electromagnetic transmissions and potential influences from the heavens and, following some early, if rudimentary attempts by others around the world has taken to wearing aluminium foil protection.

Previously he did this 'under the radar screen' as it were but Richard (of RBB) that great adopter (some would say copycat) noticed and jumped on the bandwagon took up wearing aluminium foil protection himself.

Richard, in his obsession about his brother Robert who is a devout catholic believed that Robert was in fact The Aluminium Foil Man taking steps to thwart the ambitions of atheists getting into heaven see HERE.

Richard was unaware that The aluminium Foil man was actually The Aluminium Foil Guy and a bona fide member of The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ


Richard,

seen here looking rather confused is waiting to hear from his brother Robert to get an update on the likelihood of heaven being closed to him and his fellow atheists. While Richard doesn't believe in heaven, hell and the other fantastical constructs of christianity he does want to have a 'bob each way' so if he could get into heaven he'd give it a go.

At this stage Richard is probably unaware that he has joined a rapidly growing movement of worldwide aluminium foil wearers  or 'Tinnies' as they are known. Even Donald Trump has adopted protection against the influences of Democrats and began his State of the Nation speech yesterday wearing a nice designer cap that he borrowed from Vice President Mike Pence.

At this stage it's unclear whether it worked or not and it may be that he was wearing it inside out as instead of the cap stopping outside influences getting in it seemed to stop any influence or common sense getting out.

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Here are some 'Tinnies' from around the world:

For the dapper businessmen

Early adopters

The as yet not fully committed

One that Robert would no doubt wish to copy

For the really paranoid

Women unfortunately haven't yet bought into the idea but maybe if the aluminium foil hats were more 'designer'?

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Watch this space where we will conduct experiments to prove or disprove catechism, the creed, heaven, hell and the holy spirits divine message system.